Top 10 Profiles: August

1. Sandra Bullock (0)
2. Mel Gibson (0)
3. Adolf Hitler (+2)
4. Charlie Chaplin (-1)
5. Steve Carell (+2)
6. Bill Clinton (NEW)
7. Kevin Bacon (+3)
8. Scarlett Johansson (-2)
9. Harrison Ford (-1)
10. Robert De Niro (+4)

Profile: William Saunders Crowdy

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=876

My brother keeps telling me we need to profile Robert Rozier, the ex-NFL player / Black Israelite / murderer. So I started to research the Black Israelites, and Crowdy seemed like a better place to start...

Profile: The Little Tramp

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=877

Four years! Four years! Seriously, we thought we'd never get to 100 profiles.

August 30, 2006
August 30, 2007
August 30, 2008
August 30, 2009

Profile: Regina Spektor

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=875

Regina was suggested by Sari from New York, Alexander from England, and... my brother.

And, if there is such thing as "antifolk", is there anitpunk? Antirap? Anticountry?

Update: Oh yeah, about that Hitler guy...

So you might have heard this one in the news recently. Belgian grave robbers DNA researchers have studied the genealogy of Adolf Hitler's relatives and found that he might have been part Jewish (and part African). Not WAS part Jewish (and part African). Might have been. Yawn.

Actually, it's funny how the headlines distort the findings. That chromosome is not necessarily Jewish. It COULD BE possibly African. It COULD BE possibly Berber. It COULD BE possibly Spanish. It COULD BE possibly Jewish. Seriously... yawn.

Profile: William Cohen

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=874

Cohen is one of the examples cited by the anti-circumcision lobby (lobby?). As for our stand on the matter?

No comment.

Thanks to Martin from Florida for the excellent suggestion.

Profile: Lauren Bacall

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=873

Yakov is stranded without internet (I believe he's studying the Jewish origins of the stone heads on Easter Island -- you'd think they'd have wireless there, but guess not), so once again I'm covering for his profile...

Bacall was suggested by... oh, wow. Here we go: Aaron from Asheville, Ann from New Jersey, Harvey from Napa, CA, Masha from New Jersey, Steve from California, Liora from Brazil, and Loren from Las Vegas.

Profile: Howard Schultz

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=872

Wow, that's quite a few NBA owners we've profiled...

Schultz was suggested by all-time champ La Jolla Moishe and Leonard from Kingston, Ontario.

Profile: MIke Nichols

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=871

Marcel from Germany suggested Nichols... over two years ago! Holy crap, talk about a long time coming.

For the full list of EGOT winners, and people close to an EGOT (any Jews???), see here.

Profile: k.d. lang

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=870

10 years ago, I was working for a .com that spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on its image campaign, including its name, which they decided will always be lower-cased. That .com no longer exists.

I rarely get surprised when our readers tell us that someone is Jewish. When Mark from Toronto said k.d. lang is (part), I definitely was.

Profile: Jake LaMotta

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=869

Many call "Raging Bull" the greatest sports movie of all time... For me, it's just too heavy. How can you have a great sports movie without a campy montage?

LaMotta was suggested by Angelo from Philadelphia.

Profile: Laura Schlessinger

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=868

For those who missed it, here's the transcript from last week.

Way back last year, Dr. Laura was suggested by Karen from San Diego and Tim from Mission, BC.

Wow, good timing. Dr. Laura ended her show today.

Profile: Maurycy Gottlieb

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=867

I discovered Maurycy when looking for pictures of the Wandering Jew. The above is a Gottlieb's self-portrait as the character...

Profile: Lea Michele

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=866

Yakov is super-busy nowadays, so here I am blogging another of his profiles... Lea was suggested by... brace for this... Duck from New York, Bruce from Cambridge, IL, Amy from Tucson, Jay from Gaithersburg, MD, Hannah from England, Judy from Walnut Creek, CA, Esther from Philadelphia, Eric from Elyria, OH, and Joelle from North Carolina.

That being said... I'm not sure most of these suggesters will be happy with Yakov's rendition.

Anyway, I'm glad he got to channel his inner Dwight Schrute on such an unrelated topic. What's next? A tribute to beets? Bears? Oh.

Update: Philip Markoff is dead

Philip Markoff, the partially Jewish "Craigslist killer", killed himself in jail. "RIP" does not apply.

Profile: King Solomon

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=865

I cannot tell a lie: the idea for this profile came from Moishe who uploaded Solomon to our vaunted queue and then suggested we do some sort of Judge Judy parody. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up writing it. I don't even really like TV judge shows.

And yet, here we are.

Profile: Boris Spassky

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=864

The seven (at least part) Jewish chess champions are: Wilhelm Steinitz, Emanuel Lasker, Mikhail Botvinnik, Vasily Smyslov, Mikhail Tal, Bobby Fischer (BARF), and Garry Kasparov.

Anatoly Karpov and Vladimir Kramnik are rumored to be at least part Jewish, but those are likely just rumors...

Profile: Mata Hari

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=863

Yes, people thought that Mata Hari was possibly Jewish because of her black hair, eyes, and dark complexion...

Not Jews in the News: LeBron and a rabbi?

Oh oh. First Amar'e and not this?

LeBron James could use some sound advice; that much has been clear since his much-criticized decision to announce that he would be joining the Miami Heat in a one-hour ESPN special that shot that network's credibility and enraged the city of Cleveland. And now he's getting some, from a most unexpected source: an Israeli rabbi who speaks no English and bases his teachings on the Kabbalah.^[1]

Could it be? Could LeBron be converting?

James met Tuesday with Yishayahu Yosef Pinto, a 37-year-old spiritual leader whose following in the business community is as intense as it is mysterious to the uninitiated. According to TMZ, the NBA star was seeking guidance in advance of a major merchandising meeting set to take place on a yacht later in the day.

Oh. It's about merchandising. Well then.

Profile: The Ferengi

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=862

The Ferengi were suggested by Thomas from New York in response to our Dr. Zoidberg profile about Star Trek not visiting a "Jew" planet.

Obviously, we beg to differ. Hopefully this is the last Star Trek profile I have to write....actually ever. My nerd quotient is starting to climb from not disturbingly knowledgeable up to thoroughly horrifying. Mrs. Yakov is already concerned....

Profile: Oscar Mayer

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=861

I'm a Hebrew National guy, myself. Though, if I'm at the Yankee game I'll go for a Nathan's dog. One of the hardest things for me about living in Boston were those abominations, those porky Fenway Franks. Seriously. What are those people thinking? Then again, Moishe says he really enjoys an Oscar Mayer beef frank, so clearly people with bad taste aren't just in Massachusetts.

Just kidding Moishe. Mostly. The Oscar Mayer wiener was suggested by...no one? I could have sworn someone suggested this. Oh well, either Moishe will correct me later or I'll just have to accept that one of us thought of the idea and later forgot that we thought about it.

This happens a lot, actually.

Profile: Chelsea Clinton

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=860

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Update: So, is Amar'e Jewish?

An update from an article in the Wall Street Journal:

It appears that Mr. Stoudemire isn't Jewish under religious law. Mr. Stoudemire said his mother's links are solely from her study and appreciation of the Old Testament.

but, but, but...

While he doesn't consider himself religiously Jewish, he said he feels spiritually and culturally Jewish.

So yeah, Barely a Jew it is. Unless... well, there are plenty of mohels in Israel, right, Amar'e?

Profile: Jonathan Goldsmith

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=859

I don't always surf the web, but when I do, I go to Jew or Not Jew.

Profile: Erhard Milch

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=858

Here's another Jewish Nazi: Werner Goldberg, who "The Ideal German Soldier".


Milch was suggested by Bernard from Norway and Norman from Germany.

Profile: Richard Feynman

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=857

Believe it or not, Feynman is one of our most requested profiles. Sent in by Daniel from New York, Sergei from Jersey City, Cees from Toronto, Xinle(!) from Arkansas(!), Yaniv from Israel, Alex from Chicago, and Andrew from Tennessee.

Profile: Sean Kanan

http://www.jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=856

Kanan was suggested by... me, of course! Wait, what's that? Someone else actually suggested him? Adam from Illinois. Gotta give the readers what they want, I always say!